...I had other posts on this blog. I deleted them. They don't matter. I mean, I guess they do because they were somehow true and real to who I was in that moment of posting, but right now--well--they don't matter.
What matters is this: I'm done with my PhD program. I'm living, now, in Kansas in my first "big girl" teaching job. And I am less than one week away from my first paycheck. And dang that makes my negative-dollars bank account happy.
Or maybe what matters is this: My life, imperfect as it is, is full of wonder and desire and love. I have made mistakes and I have learned. I have grown. I have felt such overwhelming love and such overwhelming pain. And I am grateful for that.
Or maybe it's this: I'm happy. Right now I am exhausted and bleary-eyed, and like everyone I know, I can say that there are things in my life that I wish were a little bit different, a little more at peace, but that doesn't matter. It's all in process towards some way of knowing myself, some way of discovering the world around me, some way of hopefully being more connected with this world of emotional and experience that transcends just me and my silly urgencies. But right now, in this moment--imperfect as I am--I am happy.
Let's see what parts of myself I share on my little bloggity blog...and if I am able to just keep this thing going, yeah? Let's see how I am able to know myself, know you, find little bridges out into the world.
Let's just see...
What matters is this: I'm done with my PhD program. I'm living, now, in Kansas in my first "big girl" teaching job. And I am less than one week away from my first paycheck. And dang that makes my negative-dollars bank account happy.
Or maybe what matters is this: My life, imperfect as it is, is full of wonder and desire and love. I have made mistakes and I have learned. I have grown. I have felt such overwhelming love and such overwhelming pain. And I am grateful for that.
Or maybe it's this: I'm happy. Right now I am exhausted and bleary-eyed, and like everyone I know, I can say that there are things in my life that I wish were a little bit different, a little more at peace, but that doesn't matter. It's all in process towards some way of knowing myself, some way of discovering the world around me, some way of hopefully being more connected with this world of emotional and experience that transcends just me and my silly urgencies. But right now, in this moment--imperfect as I am--I am happy.
Let's see what parts of myself I share on my little bloggity blog...and if I am able to just keep this thing going, yeah? Let's see how I am able to know myself, know you, find little bridges out into the world.
Let's just see...
